The Vegas of Asia

Pattaya. Every time someone in Thailand asks me where I am teaching I saw Chon Buri, with much enthusiasm... after deciphering what I have said with my strange American accent the Thai person almost immediately exclaims "Oh! Near Pattaya!" Having received this reaction on a number of occasions has caused me to ask the obvious question, what is the big deal with Pattaya? I had never heard of it when I was in the States. No one I knew had ever been there. Friends in Thailand had not mentioned it to my knowledge... what then? Then someone told me it is basically the Vegas of Southeastern Thailand. Not so much the luxurious accommodations or the massive labyrinth of casinos but more like the ladies. Prostitutes. And lots of them. Ready to take advantage of? Sink their teeth into? suspecting bachelors and their entourages, sailors coming into the port, or otherwise just dirty Asian, Indian, and white old men. I could not wait to go and check out the scene.

these are ladyboys. aka trannys.

Danielle and I arrived in Pattaya before noon on Saturday morning by a bus that we caught on Sukumvit. Very easy trip only about an hour and a half after we got ahold of the bus. After a nice Thai man helped us navigate the song taews through the city we ended up at our beach, Hat Jomtien, a few kilometers south of Pattaya beach. We put down our stuff, got some much needed breakfast, and headed for the beach (8 metres away from our hostel) where we bummed around the rest of the day. For only 30 baht each we got chairs, an umbrella, and a table. The beach was great although there were A LOT of people trying to sell us stuff. Obviously we were in a much more touristy area than I had been used to traveling to in Thailand. Still everything worked out fine. Eric met us for dinner at the Surf Cafe where we enjoyed club sandwiches and curry and I bought a mickey of Hong Thong (which by the end of the night I had devoured all by myself.. oops) and started off for our wild night in Pattaya!

We started off at a German pub that made their own beer! Very exciting and not at all what I was expecting to find in Pattaya. I tried their wheat beer and drank .4 litres of it out of a very strange glass/contraption which i thankfully did not break! After that we walked around a bit, caught a glimpse of a lady-boy show at an open bar (men dress up as women and sing/perform/wear gowns and have lots of makeup on... it's quite the sight. After that we sent Eric to bed to get some rest for his marathon and Danielle and I headed towards Walking Street. First things first, ping pong show. No, this is not your typical sporting event but instead a show where women perform various acts with their vaginas and inanimate objects. It is named for when they pop ping pong balls out of themselves but at the one we went to they also smoked cigarettes, shot darts, and pulled out ribbons and razor blades. Intense. I was of course an active member of the audience and help up balloons for the girls to shoot darts at. Sorry, no pictures allowed. After we were thoroughly sketched out yet reasonably entertained we went on to more bars/wine/dance clubs. I was getting pretty drunk at this point and definitely did not need the extra shots of tequila that came my way but had a great time none the less.

The rest of the night is a little blurry. There was a stage that I jumped up on, lots of random girls that I danced with, and something about an egg sandwich from 711 at the end of the night. Woo. The next day it was back to the beach for recovery. Hangover recovery 101: do not consume raw oysters from a little salt-water filled baggy on a beach in Thailand from a woman that is missing some fingers. Strangely enough they were pretty delicious and I did not get sick!! FANTASTIC NEWS!! In the afternoon we headed back to Chonburi on a longgg bus ride that made me a little nauseous but overall great weekend and can't wait for the long one coming up in Ko Chang!